Advice For Men On How To Make A Woman Come
Orgasms are a source of great joy, physical pleasure and sexual satisfaction. Having orgasms regularly will enhance the quality of your relationship dramatically. Nothing is as arousing to a man as making love to a woman who is herself fully aroused and enjoying her sexual capacity.
It’s even possible that you may reach orgasm during intercourse together with your partner.
How to give yourself an orgasm (advice for women)
But our words alone may not reassure you. You may have concerns about what it means to be a fully sexual woman.
First and foremost, having orgasms – or being given orgasm by a man – regularly is not going to change your basic values. It will make you feel more relaxed and possibly more fulfilled.
It may improve your relationship if it’s already fundamentally sound. If you’re in a poor relationship, becoming orgasmic is unlikely to have much impact on it.
But as you become more able to reach orgasm you are expressing more of who you are, as a woman and a human being. You’re likely to be more in touch with your needs, wishes and desires, and you may find that your emotions are easier to express. See advice on pleasuring a man and on pleasuring a woman here.
Having Orgasms Gives You A Greater Connection To Your Femininity.
For women with anorgasmia, it is essential that their sexual partner is supportive, and will do all he can to ensure she has the help she needs – growing without criticism, judgment, or discouragement from the harsh words of a relationship partner is essential.
It is also incumbent on the partner to learn how to control his premature ejaculation so she can enjoy sex without worrying about his performance in bed.
You’ll undoubtedly have moments when you think, “It’s not worth it”, or “I’m not good enough”, or “I’m never going to be orgasmic”, or “It’s a waste of time”, or something similar.
The fact that you’re reading this now means that learning how to have orgasms is important enough to you to devote time and effort to the project. That commitment will guide you through to success, provided you don’t allow that internal voice which wants to maintain the status quo to keep you from experiencing your full potential. And not to hold you back from feeling the pleasure of reaching climax and knowing what it feels like to enjoy an orgasm when you masturbate.
Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time, and enjoy the journey of discovery to being fully orgasmic. There’s no pressure on you to succeed, and no-one except your own internal critic will hold you to account for what happens as you embark on this adventure.
The New Scientist has run a series of articles on the female orgasm which have provided an unexpected insight into the way in which women are able to reach orgasm or why they cannot achieve orgasm.
The first of these articles concerns the difficulty which women have experienced in achieving climax. The article begins by describing a woman aged 45 who had never had an orgasm in her life. Years of therapy had proved completely unhelpful, her sex life was diminishing rapidly, her husband had an affair and her marriage finally broke up. In desperation she went to a surgeon.
He discovered that her clitoris was covered by a fused piece of skin, and the removal of that skin allowed her to reach orgasm freely. So the point here is that sex therapy is not necessarily the route to the female orgasm. Indeed, when a physical problem like this exists, it’s obviously not much use at all.
But the story does illustrate one side of the debate about female anorgasmia. Scientists and doctors, as well as pharmaceutical companies, have repeatedly tried to find physical causes for women’s sexual dysfunction. Sex therapists have stated that anorgasmia is a cultural phenomenon. But it seems there are many women for whom the lack of orgasm may be rooted in a physical problem of some kind.
Around 43% of the female population apparently have some kind of difficulty in reaching orgasm. This implies that medicalization of the “problem” of the lack of female orgasm is an important issue.
Is anorgasmia a physical disorder, which is treatable with drugs, mechanical aids, or surgery? Or is it an emotional or mental problem which results from the social cultural or relationship situation in which women are forced to live in our society?
Widespread female difficulty in reaching orgasm:
Female sexual arousal disorder or FSD.
FSD can only be a meaningful concept when the lack of orgasm causes a woman considerable emotional distress: arguably, there is no problem when the woman isn’t affected by her lack of orgasms.
And this in turn raises the question of whether the distress that emerges from anorgasmia is due to pressure from the relationship partner. Or is it the wider cultural context which values sex resulting in orgasm much more highly than it values sex as a means to intimacy or bonding?
Satisfactory sex is of course contingent upon several things – satisfactory ejaculation control from the man, an ability to open up and enjoy orgasms from the woman, and good health.
In the normal course of events when a woman is sexually aroused nervous impulses from the brain reach the clitoris and labia, causing the smooth muscles in these tissues to relax. Rather like the process of penile engorgement, this relaxation allows cavities within the tissues to fill with blood and makes them erect.
A similar process causes the muscular wall of the vagina to swell and start the process of lubrication: normally this process of engorgement is terminated when the woman reaches orgasm.
It’s been observed that in woman with so-called female sexual arousal disorder the clitoris and vagina do not effectively engorge with blood. The result of this is that penetration and intercourse can be difficult without artificial lubrication, and orgasm can be impossible to achieve.
Since nitric oxide is present in female genital tissue, just as it is in male genital tissue, Viagra could work in women as well as it does in men. (It works by slowing the breakdown of the Nitric oxide, a compound which relaxes smooth muscles so that the erectile tissues continue to remain engorged. The longer the period the nitric oxide remains in its natural form, the longer the period of engorgement and arousal of the sexual tissues.)
Viagra has proved to be less successful in women than it is in men. About half of the women who take it do report an increase in sensation, lubrication and their level of sexual arousal. However, the results were more or less the same in a group taking a placebo, which suggests that Viagra is not as useful in this area as it might be.
One issue is that it is not effective as an aphrodisiac, in other words it doesn’t increase sexual desire. It only works on the tissues of the genitals in a woman who might already be ready, willing or able to have sex.
It’s not a drug for those who are experiencing low libido, just as it is not a drug for men who are experiencing low levels of sexual desire: there is no benefit to taking Viagra for either of these groups.
If female sexual disorder is defined as the condition which precludes lubrication of the genitalia and relaxation of smooth muscles of the vagina, there may be better products to treat it than Viagra, since this only targets erectile tissue.
There’s a device called the Eros-CTD, which stands for clitoral therapy device. It’s a small suction pump cup which is placed over the clitoris to provide an increase in blood flow and theoretically simulates the experience of oral sex. While it’s not a vibrator it does apparently induce orgasms in some women, and there are reports of women who refused to give the device back once the clinical trials were finished!