Delayed Ejaculation Can Ruin Sex

One of the things that sex is all about, of course, is equality of experience. 

Making love is easy when you know these simple tricks to give a woman an orgasm.
Making love is easy when you know these simple tricks to give a woman an orgasm.

I doubt you will have much of an equal experience if you, as the man, making love to a woman, can’t reach the point of ejaculation during intercourse.

This, as you may know, is called delayed ejaculation.

The reasons for curing delayed ejaculation are twofold: first of all, because it makes you as a man feel less than adequate sexually, and secondly, it has an even more profound effect on your partner, who may feel that she is inadequate as a woman, can’t arouse you, and isn’t sexually attractive.

woman reaching orgasm
Bringing a woman to orgasm is going to be easier if you are fully invested in the sexual interaction between you. This is why curing delayed ejaculation is a good idea before you start trying to improve her orgasm!

Primary among the reasons that men suffer from delayed ejaculation is this:  they aren’t aroused enough. Now this isn’t necessarily because men are more attracted to some other sexual object (such as, for example men!)

In fact, it’s more about the fact that something has failed to develop “normally” in the internal psychological mechanism of sexual arousal, so that being with a woman does not trigger a man’s arousal mechanism, after which he can’t get to the point of orgasm and ejaculation.

Now generally speaking of course these problems are emotional and psychological rather than anything else, so you’re probably thinking: what on earth could cause such a problem?

The answer is that in most cases, delayed ejaculation generally resides in disconnection from self; and that hints at some kind of problem during childhood or adolescence which causes a man to feel remote from his own sexuality, and perhaps even not to experience sex in a normal way.

Who would you rather be with - her or yourself?
Who would you rather be with – her or yourself?

Often, the word “auto sexuality” has been used, which is a term used to refer to the fact that many men in this situation seem to find their own sexual satisfaction – through masturbation – more attractive than sexual satisfaction gained through partner.

That’s been labelled a “choice”, but I would dispute that. I think it’s no more a choice than any other dysfunctional behavior pattern. In fact it’s much more likely to be the product of some historical (childhood) issue resulting in (adult) sexual ambivalence or aversion at worst.

Now one of the ways of curing delayed ejaculation is going to psychodynamic therapy to examine “every” issue, to tease out the detailed aspects of what’s gone wrong in your past, and find a way of relating more functionally to members of the opposite sex in the present…..

There’s nothing wrong with that, in fact it’s a very good approach to the problem, but it is perhaps potentially long winded and difficult, and certainly requires a great deal of self-examination in a ruthless way. (Not to mention time and money.)

Much more functional, without a doubt, is some kind of cognitive behavioural therapy which results in ejaculation in a timely fashion without you having to address your underlying emotional issues.

Techniques have been used for such an approach include things like sensate focus, and indeed, there are many websites which have written about these sexual problems in a way which allows you to deal with them at home without the help of a professional sex therapist or doctor.

Reconnection to self and others can be achieved through sensate focus ... and this can lead to great sex!
Reconnection to self and others can be achieved through sensate focus … and this can lead to great sex!

In short, if you’re looking for a great sexual relationship with a woman, start by focusing on your own sexual difficulties before you start working out how to give her multiple orgasms, and you’re much more likely to find her receptive to your involvement and interest in improving her orgasmic capacity.

A Review of Orgasm Arts and The Female Orgasm Blueprint